What it takes
by DeansImpala
Summary: Darla's question takes lindsey back to a better time long dead and almost forgotten or is it? Darla asks Angel to hlep Lindsey get what he lost back.
1. Chapter 1

What it takes- I ripped this from Jenn, she let me and promised to help me with it.

The answer to Darla's question

Disclaimer- I do not own Angel or Christian kane

"You never talk about yourself, Lindsey. Got a girlfriend, boyfriend, someone special?" Darla asked him as he bandaged her hands.

Lindsey looked up into her blue eyes. "There's no one "he answered looking back down at her hands.

Darla looked down at him "There really isn't is there?"

Lindsey refused to look back up at her as his mind wandered back to a time where there had been some one special, back to the woman he loved more than life.

_Lindsey whistled to himself as the thought of graduating with high honors was filling his head. He could not wait to get out of college, move to Denver or NCY to be a great lawyer. Nevertheless, the thing that made him glow with happiness was the fact that his girlfriend was the motivation behind everything he had done since leaving home behind. She had even gotten Lindsey to keep in contact with the father and siblings he so despised._

_He placed the key into the door of the medium apartment he and his girlfriend lived in. He knew she would be asleep, it was late and he had told her not to wait up. He had some last minute things to be done for school. Lindsey quietly placed his briefcase on the table, disturbing Nino the large tabby that they had taken in. Lindsey went into the bathroom, brushed his teeth, shed his cloths until he stood in his boxer-briefs and black t-shirt. He placed the clothes into the hamper; he would do the laundry tomorrow. He walked down the hall a little ways to their bedroom. The light was on and he wondered what had happened if she was still awake._

"_Amanda?" he whispered as he walked into the room. _

_Amanda was propped up a little bit reading a book or she had been, her eyes were closed and her chest was rising and falling with steady breathing. Lindsey smiled as he leaned over to remove her glasses and kissed her forehead. Amanda stirred a little before opening her hazel eyes. A small smile played on her lips._

"_Lindsey" she sighed as she inched down under the covers. "I so wanted to stay awake for when you came home. Did you get everything done that you wanted?"_

"_Yeah I did but you didn't have to stay up I know how tired you'll be tomorrow."_

"_I know but I wanted to say I love you before going to sleep."_

_Lindsey's heart leapt then soared as those words came out of her mouth. They had been together for 8 months and never before had she ever said that. Lindsey told her about a month into their very new relationship he loved her, but all that did was spook her so he said that she did not have to say it until she meant it. He stood by the side of the bed as she laughed._

"_Okay that is weird I say I love you and you stand in shock."_

" _Oh no I'm just … I wasn't expecting that is all, so my lovely bed hog move over so I can snuggle with you."_

"_I don't think so, because you know we won't just snuggle, but you can sleep with me and do what ever you like with me, tonight is your turn."_

"_In that case, I just want to hold you and kiss you until you go to sleep."_

_Amanda groaned as she moved over to her side of the bed, waiting for Lindsey to get into bed so she could hold him. Lindsey moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around Amanda. He could feel her relax in his arms, he kissed her shoulder and whispered into her ear "I love you too Amanda"._

_Completely happiness and the fact tomorrow was a big day for him Lindsey fell into a deep sleep. Unaware of the wrench that was about to be thrown into his life._

_Lila sat in a large black suburban as secret ops personnel surrounded Mr. McDonald's apartment building._

"_Ms. Morgan the area is secure, shall we move in yet?"_

"_No give them a few more minutes and remember that woman isn't to be harmed, that is for the bosses." Lila looked over Lindsey's file, he was a brilliant student and Holland wanted him to work for Wolfram&hart. _

"_Ms. Morgan now?"_

_Lila smiled "Yes"._

_8_

_An Alarm was waking Lindsey for a deep slumber, his eyes opened slowly as the morning seemed to have turned into the afternoon. He reached over and found the other side of the bed empty, he frowned, it was not like Amanda to get up early, but maybe she made breakfast or had some errands to do. Lindsey slid out of bed and looked at the clock, it was 2 PM, the ceremony started in a few hours he had to get ready a go._

"_Amanda?" he called in the hallway._

"_Amanda?" he called out again. There was still no answer greeting him. Lindsey went to grab clean clothes and take a shower. Maybe she had a few errands to run. Without thinking too much more about it, Lindsey went into the bathroom, removed his clothes and turned on the hot water. He stepped into the shower a minute later. He felt good as if nothing could ever hurt him again. _

_A half hour later Amanda was still not home and Lindsey called her cell ,she didn't answer ,he left her a message not to forget about the ceremony tonight and left the time they had to leave. Lindsey then called his dad and told him about the ceremony, they talked for a few minutes before Lindsey told him he had to find Amanda._

"_Are you going to marry hi Amanda girl Lindsey?" his father asked him._

"_I don't know dad, I do love her. Listen I have to go I'll call you tonight" Lindsey hung up the phone just as the doorbell rang._

_Lindsey opened the door and found himself staring at two police officers, his heart dropped and a loud buzzing started in his ears as the officer talked to him._

"_Mr. McDonald?"_

_Lindsey could only nod._

"_Can we come in?"_

_Lindsey opened the door wider so they could walk in he lead them to the living room where he sat down._

"_Mr. McDonald, we have some bad news Amanda Collin was killed at the grocery store this morning, she didn't' have any information on her except this number and address. WE are so sorry to have to tell you this today; we need you to come identify the body, since her family lives in Denmark Germany."_

_Lindsey heard the words, in fact he understood what they meant, he just could not get himself to let the information seep into his mind. He heard the officers telling him to call the station later today and come to the hospital to identify the body, and again they were so sorry about this news. _

_Lindsey sat in the living room staring out into space long after the officers had left his apartment. He was not sure how long he had been sitting here, but he knew he had to vomit. Lindsey went onto the bathroom and emptied his stomach of whatever he had the night before._

_Amanda was dead._

_Amanda was dead._

_Amanda was dead._

"_Noooooo!" Lindsey screamed as the word finally hit home, the woman that just told him that she loved him had been killed. He would never be able to have the life he wanted now. Everything he knew was just pulled from him. Lindsey stared at the card the officer gave him. He would have to go identify the body. He sighed as he called the station and told them he could be there in a half hour. He willed himself not to cry, but a few tears trickled down his face. Lindsey leaned against the wall, he slide down and sobbed into his arms._

_Amanda opened her eyes, only to find herself not in the bed she fell asleep in. She sat up a little too quickly and searched the room with her eyes. It was a lavender colored room with flowers and candles everywhere. She looked down and saw that she was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. A knock fell on the white wooden door, and then it opened. _

_A stylish woman and man walked into the room, a long with a doctor._

"_Ah Amanda, I'm glad to see that you are up a about. I was afraid that drug we gave you would kill you" the man smiled at her as he walked closer._

"_Who are you and what do you want from me, and where is Lindsey?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling as badly as she was. The woman walked closer to him and stroked her head._

"_Amanda, I'm Lila Morgan and I work for that man over there Holland manners. We are lawyer at a firm called Wolfram Hart. There is nothing to be afraid of; we are going to take care of you."_

"_Lila quiet smothering the girl, listen Lindsey isn't here nor will he becoming here, you see I want Lindsey to work here for me and you just got in the way. WE took care of him though. However you will have to stay here for awhile."_

"_You can't just kidnap people in them idle of the night" Amanda backed away as the doctor walked closer to her with a syringe flashing at her. Amanda tried to move away but two people grabbed her arms and held her still as the doctor gave her an injection._

"_No! No please No get away from meeeee!" Amanda begged as the drug started to take its toll on her. Her eyes felt heavy, as she needed to sleep. She slumped down and her body relaxed. The doctor checked her vitals and smiled._

"_She's out for the next few years. I have me specialist to make sure she doesn't lose muscle mass or the use of he body when she walks up in a few years."_

"_Good very good doctor now on to the next part of the plan. Lila have her taken to the center and report back to me on the Lindsey McDonald plan."_

"_Yes sir" Lila answered as she watched the doctor and his specialist take the girl out of the room._

_The next couple day for Lindsey were the worst, after identifying Amanda's body, he had went into a raging fit. After he got home, he destroyed the house. After the funeral, he cried._

_Lindsey was a broken man one more with no life or purpose until Holland Manner came along. The minute he offered Lindsey a job, Lindsey fully accepted it and signed on the dotted line._

_Lindsey had also learned how to shut off his emotions that was something he was always good at._

**Now**

Darla stared at Lindsey as he told her how he ended up at Wolfram hart.

"Lindsey, you aren't a bad person like you think and I'm sure Amanda didn't think you were either. And after working here for so long, didn't you think that the story the officers gave wasn't a tad off?" Darla asked him.

"What do you mean? Like that, was just a ploy to get me here? No I saw her riddled with bullets in the morgue, she was dead," Lindsey told her as if he was closing the subject. Lindsey finished wrapping up her wounds then left the room to leave Darla alone with her own thoughts.

Lindsey went into his bedroom, opened up the closet door, reached up and took down a box with a lock on it. He walked over to his bed and sat down; he had not looked at this box in three long years. As he opened it he could hear, the memories just come pouring out like rain. All the good times he had with Amanda, the 2 big fights and the making up later on. He lay down on his stomach on the bed and went through letters and pictures.

He had received one from her parents that he never opened. Carefully he opened the letter and began to read.

"_Our dearest Lindsey,_

_I can't begin to express how I feel about the lose of my daughter , it was like none of my children were meant to live past 20. Amanda was my adopted child and I truly, though that she had a shot. After Kyle died from cancer and Rikki from a car crash , Lisa from Chicken pox as a child … well you can see were I'm going with this. I cannot imagine how you feel. I know you loved our daughter and she loved you so much, even though she may not have told you enough. WE had always hoped that you and Amanda would settle down get married have children of your own. My husband and I want you to know how much we loved you and still do so if you need anything please do not ever hesitate to call us._

_Amanda always spoke so highly of you and she would get this look whenever she was asked about you. I remember one day telling us you were the man she was going to marry. I was so happy she felt that way. _

_I heard you did not make it to the ceremony and I know she would have wanted you to go. I hope you become he very man that you wanted to be. I have to stop now before this letter is too blotched. Do not forget us Lindsey._

_Love Ted and Michelle Collins._

Lindsey could not read the letter anymore something was blocking his vision, he blinked and tears wet the letter. He was glad he did not read the letter earlier. He heard the bedroom door opening to see Darla standing there. She walked over to his as he flopped his head down and sobbed silently. It was as if he was reliving the whole thing in his mind. Darla sat down and began rubbing his back whispering to him how it was going to be okay.

However, was it really going to be okay?

I hope you liked…. I'm not sure how to bring Amanda back.


	2. Chapter 2

What it takes -2 I know I didn't explain this enough but needless to say Darla isn't dead, I never liked that they killed her off. But I'm leaving her with a soul as a human. She is a friend with Angel something that Lindsey just has to deal with. I wanted to dig into Lindsey torrid past a little bit and this is what I came up with.

Disclaimer- I still own nothing but my mind and the things inside.

Lila sipped her tea, as her office door was kicked open. She looked up and saw one pissed off woman standing in front of her. Even though Darla was not a vampire, something about her scared the crap out of her.

"Darla, all you had to do was knock and I would have opened the door."

Darla walked closer to Lila knowing for a fact that she scared the woman. Darla smiled at her, after Lindsey had calmed down Darla swore to herself that she was going to get down to the death of his girlfriend. Darla knew something was off about the events of the death of Amanda.

"I have a few questions for you Lila, and if you know what is good for you, you might want to answer me."

"I'm not sure if I can help you since you are no longer of importance to Wolfram & Hart" Lila told her with a smirk, as she put down her cup and stood up.

Darla closed the gap between herself and Lila; she grabbed the woman and shoved her against the wall, Lila's head connected to the wall with a dull thump. Darla smiled at her in a menacing way.

"I may not be a vampire any more Lila, but I still know how to torture people and believe me if you don't tell me what I know, they may find you cut into tiny little piece and tossed onto the bay area."

Lila blinked a few times before the words registered in her brain.

"Darla, I'm not sure you under stand what you are getting into threatening me. I can have you killed fast than you could carry out your threat."

"Darla!" a male voice called out to her. Lila turned around to see Lindsey McDonald standing in the office doorway.

"Lindsey, What are you doing here I thought you were on vacation?"

"I am Lila, but see Darla said she was going for a walk I knew she was coming here. Darla come on lets go home. "

"Lindsey, she might know something."

"Darla, lets just go, before someone finds out you were here. There are other ways to find out what really happened, now let's go" Lindsey instructed.

Darla looked at Lila and punched her. Lila stumbled back a few feet, her hand raised to her jaw and watched as Lindsey grabbed Darla's arm and dragged her out of the office. Lila wondered what they were looking for. She picked up her phone to call Holland, maybe he knew.

Scene

Lindsey tightened his hold on the blond haired woman as he pulled her out of the building into the blinding sunlight. He let go just as they walked to his car. He stopped and turned around to face her, she had never seen him so angry before.

"Lindsey, I was only trying to help you. I don't think that your friend is dead."

"Darla, I wish you would leave well enough alone. Amanda is dead and I've accepted that fact, just let it go" Lindsey begged her.

Darla shook her head " You know, I don't get you, you say you loved this woman and when I say maybe there is chance she might be alive you balk and even thinking it might be true. Why? Are you that afraid of finding out what really happened Lindsey? Some random shooting took her life and you believed that. Come on it sounds weird to hear it at all but you, you just say okay and that was it."

Lindsey hung his head that was exactly what he did; he never questioned anything about the shooting. He looked back up at Darla, then just walked away from her, his brain was hurting his head, and he had to get away from this whole thing. He turned around and looked for Darla; she wasn't there anymore. As he walked back towards his truck, he saw Lila coming out of the building.

"Lindsey, wait a minute."

"Lila, really right now isn't a good time for me to chat with you about any thing" he told her, his steel blue eyes boring a hole into her head.

" Why was Darla ready to put a nail through my eye?"

" I don't know Lila, maybe she has a grudge against you. I have to get back to my vacation before coming back here if you don't mind" Lindsey opened up his truck door, and climbed up inside. He watched Lila walk back into the building, God how he hated that place. But for now it was all he had.

Lila went back into her office, when Holland strolled in. Lila chuckled "Ahhh doesn't anyone knock anymore?"

" Lila, I hear you had a problem with an ex-vamp and a certain lawyer " Holland remarked.

"It wasn't anything I couldn't handle sir. Darla is just getting a little out of control. Lindsey came in to gather her and they left. I really don't think it was anything except Darla's freaking out because she isn't scary anymore."

" Something had to have prompted her attack on you though, did she say anything?" Holland asked.

" She said she had some questions for me but that was as far as she got then Lindsey came in and got her. You don't think it has something to do with Lindsay's annivsery here do you?"

Holland shook his head " No, but we should keep an eye on them just the same."

"Right I'll get someone on it right away."

Holland smiled at Lila; what they did at the firm Lindsey on the other hand had pushed, and pushed, he tettered between good and evil never swayed her. Holland had to put a stop to this and quick.

"Thank you Lila, I knew I could trust you to take care of Lindsey." Lila gave him a small smile before he walked out of her office. Lila sat behind her desk and pulled up Lindsay's file and began reading through it, searching for anything that would of set Darla off.

Scene

Lindsey stepped off the elevator only to find Cordelia Chase standing near his door. Lindsey sighed; this was all he needed right now.

" Great, now what do you want?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"Listen, I don't want to be here bu5t your roommate Darla came to the office in a bit of a tizzy and Angel wanted me to come here and talk to you, we do help the hopeless and you are as hopeless as they get."

"I'm on vacation and I don't need your help, contrary to what Darla might think okay, now just peddle your cute ass out of my apartment building and just leave me alone" Lindsey told her as she walked into the apartment behind him.

"Didn't you hear me cordy leave."

" Listen Darla told Angel what happened to you and why you started with Wolfram Hart. You don't have to stay; you can do some real good with the talent you have. And I think we can find Amanda for you."

The last statement got Lindsay's attention "She said what?"

"Well golden boy she thinks that your dead girlfriend isn't so dead, so she is making her case to Angel as we speak. I'm just here to make sure you don't go all nuts."

" I'm fine. So you can leave and I'll just hang out here until she comes back."

"I can't do that Lindsey, I know you are semi evil but you are a human being but just the same I'm suppose to keep an eye on you."

Lindsey let out a frustrated sigh " Alright, fine come on in, make yourself at home I'm going to take a shower. Remote to the TV is over there" Lindsey handed her the remote then disappeared into another room. Cordelia sat down on the nice leather couch. Lindsey certainly lived high on the hog and if he wasn't the bad guy, Cordelia could have been tempted to jump on him. He wasn't bad looking, and those blue eyes.

"Stop it" Cordy told herself.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Oh myself sorry you go enjoy that shower…" Cordy said as Lindsey walked past her in noting but his jeans. _Good lord he was ripped _Lindsey smiled as he walked past her. Cordy picked up the remote, leaned back, and flipped through the channels.

Scene

"Amanda Collins can I see you in my office for a minute?"

"Sure Jake, hang on I'll be just a second" Amanda called out.

Amanda smoothed her jacket and skirt as she walked into her boss's office. He motioned for her to sit down in a plush chair. He gave her a friendly enough smile, as he picked up her file folder.

"Amanda, you have been here three maybe four years and I've noticed what a great job you have been doing. Here is the thing I'm opening another restaurant in LA and need people to go there and open it up for me. How does that sound to you?"

Amanda blushed " That sounds like a great idea and I'm flattered that you would even decide to pick me to represent you and your restaurant. I'm speechless, but how long would I be gone?"

" I'm thinking two three months until I can hire some one else to be the top chef. So I need you ready to go by sometime tomorrow."

"Tomorrow Jake that is 16 hours to get ready let my land lord know I'm not going to be there and pay her in advance, get my dog Ransom ready to leave" Amanda rubbed her face.

Jake looked at her " We are catering a lunch at Wolfram & Hart law firm tomorrow that is why you have to go, you can come back Monday to get the rest of your things, as for Ransom and the apartment don't worry I'll take care of them for you. So what do you say?"

Amanda smiled and nodded " okay, so who is the contact person at this law firm?"

" Lindsey McDonald" Jake told her, he turned around to see her face pale " What is the matter?"

All Amanda could hear was the blood pounding through her veins; her whole body began to tremble. She couldn't breath that well. And her vision began to blur. Jake looked at her with a confused expression.

"Amanda? Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. Jake saw how flustered she had become by just mentioning Lindsay's name.

"Um Yeah I'm fine, its just that name I knew someone by that name, um do you mind if I take the rest of the day off to get ready to leave tomorrow?"

Jake smiled at her " No problem I'll have Lisa take over the shift."

Amanda thanked her boss before gathering her things and leaving for the day. Once outside and inside the privacy of her own car. Amanda began to cry; one tear fell then two thens they just came. It was three years ago that she had left him, after she was taken from him, three years since she touch him, three years ago told him she loved him. She dried her eyes and silently wondered if he had moved on with his life, she would have by now.

Reviews are nice…. Angel will be coming up shortly. Lindsey will realize how he was played for a fool his whole time at Wolfram & Hart.


	3. Chapter 3

What it takes- I know no one is really a fan of this but I think I'm going to ride this out. I love Christian Kane, he is fantabulous.

Disclaimer- I do not own anything to do with Angel.

Wesley and Angel had both listens to Darla's tale that Lindsey told her. Angel wasn't surprised at the great lengths the law firm would go to get Lindsey. Angel had Wesley look up his old school record and the time that he signed on with Wolfram & Hart. Lindsey had been at the top of his game; his Dean of the school remarked how driven to succeed the boy had been to get out of his hometown. How much work Lindsey put into everything that he had done. Wesley raised his eyebrows when he had come to an article about Lindsey's live in girlfriend, pretty girl, bright future, then a horrible shooting had taken the young girl's life. Lindsey had for gone his own graduation to attend Amanda's funeral.

"Angel, look at these grades, I've never seen them this high " Wesley said with awe in his voice.

" I never said he was stupid, just misguided" Angel answered as he himself was impressed with the grades. He looked back over at Darla, who was pacing back and forth.

" I still don't understand why you think that Amanda is alive, it looks pretty cut and dry to me. She was caught in a shoot, multiple gun wounds to the body. Lindsey and her parents claimed the body; she was buried here in LA. Hmmm."

Wesley gave Angel a look, Darla saw it.

"What?"

"Well, if she was from the same state Lindsey was from, wouldn't you take the body back home, I mean if you were her parents why bury her here and not in a family plot."

Darla smiled at the two of them" See, didn't I tell you there was something strange going on. Where did she work maybe if we call there or her parents house they can tell us if their daughter is alive."

"That is a great idea Darla, I'll do a search to see where her parents are. And we can call about her job or something."

"Guys, I don't know if that is a good idea I mean, would we really want to bother a grieving family?" Angel asked, still not full convinced that Amanda was alive.

"If she is truly dead, then at least we can find out something to ease her mind and Angel, it is connect to Wolfram & Hart some how so the chances of her being a live are rather good."

Darla sat down at the computer and started typing in Amanda's name, when an article popped up.

_Amanda Collins, top chef at Triton's Code restaurant coming to LA to open new branch for Jake Code…_

"Um Guys?"

Wesley was still making his case to Angel, neither one paying attention to Darla, who was still reading the article that had popped up. Her eyes widened at the page, this girl was far from dead. She was trained out of the country in France. Came back to California and was hired by Jake Code a young diner owner at the time, who decided to go bigger. Now he own two places and was ready to open a third. On top of it Wolfram & Hart hired them to cater large luncheon with important clients. Amanda was to arrive tomorrow to give a demonstration of her techniques.

"Angel, Wesley, can you to stop for one moment I think we found our corpse and she has been pretty busy for a dead girl" Darla stepped away from the screen to let them get a look at it.

" Well I'll be." Wesley whispered as they both read the article.

"Darla, call Cordelia and tell her we said to come back here, our girl has risen."

Wesley and Angel's eyes both went back to the screen, it had seem that Amanda was very much alive and going to be catering a luncheon for Wolfram & Hart. The woman had a very beautiful smile; it almost reminded Wesley of the sunshine. Angel looked at Wesley then back at the picture of her.

"I'll go see if I can't find anything else on her, if she is alive and not a vampire then I can go tall to her right?"

Wesley nodded then added "Angel, be careful this might just be a trick" Angel nodded before grabbing the address and leaving the building.

Scene

The limo pulled up in front of the office, Amanda sighed as she looked at the building, it wasn't one of the friendliest buildings in LA The woman sitting next to her smirked, she thought the building was ugly too, when she first started there.

"Amanda, you ready to go see the kitchen you will be working in?"

Amanda gave Lila a smile " Sure why not."

Lila opened the door and stepped out into the bright sun. She waited for Amanda to step out as well. She saw the woman stare at the building in a little fear.

"Relax, this place isn't so bad. It made me a little nervous too when I first got here. I'll show you around before you can get started" Lila led the younger woman towards the building . As the got closer to the door, a familiar shape stepped out of the shadows. Lila stopped in her tracks and looked at the dark skinned man.

"Charles Gunn, I wondered, when we would meet."

Gunn smiled at her " Oh I'm not here to see you Lila, Ms. Collins? I'm here to see you. There is someone I know who would love to see you, so if you would just come with me."

"Amanda, that man is very dangerous, he works for a vampire, a very dangerous vampire at that."

Gunn gave Lila a death glare to make her stop talking "Amanda, my name is Charles Gunn, I'm a Vampire slayer, but I work for him. I know this will sound strange but Lindsey wants to see you? So I was sent here to pick you up. I'll have you back in time to cook lunch for Satin I promise."

It was Lila's turn to have a smug look on her face, when Amanda looked at him oddly and said " Whom? I'm sorry I do not know who you are talking about." Amanda pushed past Gunn into the building with Lila.

Gunn frowned as he watched Amanda and Lila walk into the building; he pulled out his cell phone.

"Hey Wes, you were right the girl had no clue who Lindsey was and Lila 's smile couldn't get any wider. I'll go pick up Cordy in a few minutes" Gunn walked back to his truck where Angel sat waiting for him.

"Well it is time for plan two…" the truck roared to life as they headed over to Lindsey's apartment.

So here is part of it. Amanda will not remember Lindsey at least not until Lorne gets there.


End file.
